A warning to all - My Story.
Ello, ye fine members of ze Alfaowner clube.
My story is a sad one. Many years ago, ven I was just a small boy of twentysomething, I wanted a car of passion and virility - a car with character and personality - a car with uuumph! I decided to buy a used BMW M5.
When I went to buy ze M5, the owner collected me from the station and took me to his house, which had many cars there. I realised he was trading. Of all the cars there, ze M5 stood out beautifully. It was white, with the M-colours delicately laid along the side of the car. It had a beautiful dark interior and large spoiler on the rear, yet ... yet, it was as tasteless to me as cold porridge without sugar, honey or that other thing - a spoon!
"Would ya loik wana these uvvers" ze nice gent said to me, realising my emptiness.
However, as I mentioned before, the M5 was the best and the others...they would have been like driving a used fridge, on wheels - it may go, but only very uninterestingly. As we both headed towards his car to leave, I looked up and there, standing on the edge of the long drive, was a specticle, a nightmare or vision I do not know. It was like a thunder clap, with presence. It was unusual, unlike anything I ever recall seeing before. It made me shiver with fear and yet, made my heart jump with delight. No, it was not my wife. It was a metallic storm grey, Alfa 164 3.0v6 12valve.
"How about that one?" I said (my mouth realising I was in shock and taking the lead).
"Er... that one?" he said. "Well, er, it is my own car ... but then ... OK! Why not."
With that we hopped in the car and he took me for a test drive, gently hinting on what the car could do. Then he offered me a drive. The hairs on my arms stood on end. It was as if someone had wedged a coat hanger in my mouth. Only my eyes were strong enough to restrict my smile to the confines of my face.
Sad to say ... I bought that car. Life has never been the same since. I ... I ... I now have an Alfa habit that I just cannot kick. I bought a Mazda 626 once. ONCE! - in attempt to return to a normal life! Promptly sold it and bought myself another Alfa 164.
Now, wherever I go, I go on searching. Searching with an insatiable appetite. Searching the night (and day). Searching, for that moment ... when I can say.... "YES! ANOTHER LOVER OF FINE MOTORING! ANOTHER PERSON WHO BELIEVES DRIVING SHOULD BE MORE THAN SITTING BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A SHOVEL (routine motoring) OR LADIES HANDBAG (most executive motoring). ANOTHER PERSON WHO BELIEVES MOTORING SHOULD BE INSPIRATIONAL NOT UNSPIRATIONAL. YAAAAAAAAGH! IT'S ANOTHER ALFA DRIVER!!!!" and flash my headlights like a Kamikazi on caffine.
So next time you are calmly driving down the road and suddenly notice a mad man coming the other way, flashing his headlights and waving out of the window as if to warn of the coming of the tsunami as seen in the movie 2012 - don't worry. It's probably me, just saying ... 'ello.'