Let me address some of your problems.
"I have a phase 2 TS and would want to stay with phase 2 or 3, but I don't like the spoiler on the V6 cars."
I own a 1998 Ph2 GTV V6 and it doesn't have a spoiler,
You are thinking about the CUP editions which came with spoilers, these were either Twinnies or V6's, the spoiler had nothing to do with whether it was a V6 or not.
"I have a dealer fitted cruise control on my car which makes a hell of a difference on a long trip."
Can you not get it retro fitted to a V6 engine then?
"I reckon the torque steer on the V6 does impede the driving experience when setting off under hard throttle, and they feel heavier at the front."
Having owned both, I can say that this categorically makes zero difference to me whatsoever, and that in actual fact the torque steer that IS apparent actually makes for a more fun take-off in my eyes. The Twinspark was a good fun car, but the V6 is in a complete and utter different league.
The 220BHP V6 engine is such an amazing engine, it's incredible, the Twinny is a nice engine, and powerful enough, but if you think you want a V6 then you want a V6.
The handling is roughly the same, you'll get alot of Twinny addicts who will claim that the V6 lump makes the GTV wallowy and hard to corner with, this is utter crap, it handles like it's on rails with a decent set of tyres. I've got Michi's all round and I start to fly sideways before the car does,