Well this is a concise a picture as I can muster of what went wrong with the car - so much happened im not sure ill remember everything!
2x Glow plug failure
Hood problem (wouldnt latch at the back) and then twisted on the frame requiring the fabric to come off.
Alarm problems - new door sensors fitted.
Power steering fluid and power steering pump replaced.
Clutch! Pedal used to go to the floor (happened about 6 times over the life of the car) and wouldnt return all the way up on about 50% of gear changes. This was a tricky problem as sometimes the dealer agreed that it existed and sometimes they swore it didnt!
All I know is that it didnt do it when new! It has the effect of riding the clutch, so it had everything replaced:
-clutch plate, release bearing, master and slave cylinders!
-and it still didnt solve the problem.
Manifolds and injectors replaced and new ECU maps loaded on to solve rough running.
Brakes - squealed like hell for the last 4 months - really really loud pericing squeal.
Loud squeak from the rear suspension - never fully diagnosed and cured itself after 5 months!
Auto wipers had a mind of their own and never worked properly.
Parking sensors didnt work on about 3/10 occasions.
CD player wouldnt work with the offiicial Denison ICE link - Denison tech suspected a duff headunit, but of course thats something I could never prove!
Ate tyres! 5 sets of front tyres needed in 25k miles, and 1 set of rears.
Paint flaked off the bonnet leaving it looking like a patch work. THose in the know suggested that it was 'over baked' at the factory.
EGR issues giving horrible lag and stuttering at low speeds.
Oil overfilled by 2.5 litres by official service agent at the oil change. Ran the engine like that for 1000 miles before H R Owen spooted it! (it wasnt HRO who did the oil change).
Engine was incredibly rattly on the over run - didnt sound healthy.
I gave it back with an undiagnosed engine problem, probably something to do with the belts or turbo - basically it was whining all the time - it was so loud that it drowned out the sound of the clackety engine!
Random hood failures during lowering, always solved by ignition off/on (thank God!)
So there you go folks, thats how screwed your car has to be for Alfa to replace it! And to be honest im not even sure thats the ful list!