A secret report by the BBC reveals;
Alfa Romeo owners are easily identifiable by his NHS health records.
With more than 1000 GP’s from England and South Wales taken part in this investigation.
Talking in his sleep...
Phrases like “I did change the cam belt, honestly Sir”
“Please not the Turbo, everything but not the Turbo” are early warning signs.
Some patients turn into loners, as people just can’t hear the continues tales of
“What has broken now” on “my Alfa” any longer.
Most GP’s would prescribe anti depressive drugs in the early stages.
With advanced Alfa-mania, stronger Psycho drugs are required.
Valium 50 being the preferred choice her.
Additional 100 mg Valium are indicated if any trip in an Alfa Romeo is about to take place.
This will greatly reduce the risk of panic attacks, once the Alfa has broken down again.
An unexplainable affection is often reported with Alfa Romeo dealerships.
Many scientist believe that this behaviour is similar to the well researched “Stockholm syndrome” .
Whereby hostages being held for ransom, have build a close relationships with the individuals holding them at knife point.
It appears that a VW Passat or BMW 3 Series, have a positive effect on the patients, once they are removed from the immediate danger of Alfa Romeo ownership.
Many patients display an almost normal level of social interaction with the world around them within 3 months of changing to any of the formally mentioned models.
Time to see my doctor then???
all the best