Got some Polish people to spring into action with the click of a mouse.
20 minutes later a well-known courier company sent me an email informing me a new lower turbo hose is making its way to me.
And no, I didn't buy a silicon one - they're so much better - , and no it's not because I'm cheap (although I am), but because those don't fit the 74kW 1.9 jtd 8v engine.
I asked the stealer for the part price a while back and even they were offended, so I have been looking for a reasonably priced alternative since and they don't grow on trees. Fingers crossed.