You said "i find it strange that some owners are able to get the rear to step out.. and i cant evan manage to get the front to hang on".
Its actually the same thing : in that for the rear to be able to step out - the front must have more grip than the rear at that point in time
If your problem is that your front has no grip for whatever reason (worn bushes etc) you will find it extremely difficult to move the tail without being a hooligan.
Perhaps none apply to you but heres a few possibilities:
Was the road slightly greasy? There can be deceptively little grip in wet conditions depending on the exact surface makeup.
Cold tyres also have a fraction of the grip of warmed up tyres.
Failing that its possible you are simply going too fast through the corner initially? Stepping off the power won't immediately rectify understeer if you are going much too fast.
i.e. if on a long curve you build up way too much pace it can take a long time to kill understeer, lifting off the throttle only provides a transient effect.
You would need to reduce steering input as well, but you obviously want to make it around the corner.
Thinking quite a bit "ahead" of where you are going to be on the corner is helpful rather than just concentrating on the immediate bit of the curve in front of you - you need to be sure at all times that you can get back to your target points on your trajectory (apex/exit etc).
This is harder to do on a long curve, but noticing whether the curve is tightening or widening is very important.
Another thing is that perhaps you aren't transferring weight properly before turning into the corner.
i.e. if you leave too long before taking your foot off the brake and turning in then there is no weight over the front wheels and they will understeer like a mad thing!
Perhaps a spin in another 156 would see if it was a driver or car issue?