I'll describe it to you instead.
Red 147 GTA, looks just like a red 147 with a dubious bodykit.
Clarkson is driving it, on a track only which of course is where we all do 90% of our daily driving.
In a straight line it drubbed the Focus aRSe and the butch Golf
With TC on it understeered like a pig.
With TC off it was virtually undriveable.
The Stig insect went round the test track 2 seconds slower than the peoples car and about half a minute slower than the Focus bottom car.
They all (Clarkson, the scruffy one and the midget) that the other 2 were better cars but they would rather have the Alfa.
In reality they would have bought the Golf though as any sane person would.
Me, I'd buy a Mazda RX-8 wink