Whats wrong with car mags and TV programmes?
What is wrong with these insidious magazines that so successfully drive our choice of car buying and at the same time also fail to do so?
I have no sympathy for owners of a new MG-TF but why on earth did Tiff Needell take it on a track and say it wasnt fun enough? How many people in the real world do that? Do the few that do care about what he says?
Clarkson was funny, if crude, and hence entertaining, but one soon gets bored of the same stuff re-packed in different but unoriginal boxes. And he insisted, along with Sticky-Vicky Dog-Collar Henderson (would you wear a studded dog collar as evening dress to a ball at Goodwood?) and that brainless moron who actually jumped out of a jeep wrangler and crashed it while testing for a TV shot because he was scared of heights, and Jason Barlow, and and and... they all make smokey donoughts out of any car and moan its not good at this or that, and its all so irrelevant! Worse still, its boring.
Then you read the press. What planet are Autocar on - I'll tell you shall I? Go on you know I would....
Its the Alfa never left a nice gift in the car routine, or they never delivered it on time to my house, or they failed to insinuate themselves into the favours of the erstwhile testers ...... because that ladies and gents is the real corrupt and blandly predictable dishonest world of the autopress.
They are leeches, sucking up vast amounts of corporate budget, taken on spirallingly expensive junkets and palm gifts and freebies like you would never imagine. Everything from poseur sunglasses to branded soap, clothing by the imperial ton, free first class travel, dressing gowns, 5 star hotels and resturants, access to the best places at the best times. They only have to hint and suddenly it arrives on thier doorstep.
A good write up has much less to do with the car as how much you are prepared to spend on keeping the little snitches happy. And then when you have spent all that dosh they come right back and stab you in the back for the tinniest thing you forgot, like not sending their wife flowers on her birthday or not lending them a car to go on holiday.
Forget reading it on the autopress. find out yourself, trust your instincts, use the Alfa-force.....Oh God, I've been got at.....
PS Guess which big manufacturer has got Count Quentula so tied up he can't breathe without there say so?