So, 6 weeks into my ownership of a gorgeous 147 I learn that the road tax is going to rocket next year. In fact, I could be paying upwards of £400. Why is this? 2 words. Global Warming.
The other night I watched An Inconvenient Truth and was bombarded with graphs and slides and predictions of my future on this planet by a man that is still bitter about losing out on a certain job that he applied for a few years ago.
According to this man we are all doomed to a life of poverty (he probably got that right to be honest), drought, floods, crazy weather (has he ever visited England?), storms, and finally extinction. In between this he attempted to tug on a few heartstrings with a story about his son, and how his dad's farm had a dose of moral justice and stopped producing tobacco.
I thought the film was well made Hollywood hocum, the sort of thing that you would expect from that side of the world whenever a crisis rears its ugly head. Almost a sequel to Day After Tomorrow (did anybody else notice the borrowed bit where the camera floats over the ice?) After all, isnt it the Americans that always saves the world? World War 2 was a prime example. Oh, and when they stole that decoder...what would we do without them? And now they can see into the future too.
But I could see through this to a bigger picture. Bombard me with as many slides as you want. Hit me with graphs and spooky predictions of what might happen if I continue to drive my car and watch TV and use a computer and generally just live my life. There is a bigger picture, and, for him and those in the USA at least, it's green and made of paper and has a portrait of Benjamin on it.
It's not just him though. Everybody has got on the bandwagon including our beloved England. Here we are told to recycle. Of course the main packaging, plastic, cant be recycled, at least not where I live, because to build a plant to do it would cost too much, so that goes in the rubbish as usual. So its bits of cardboard, weeds from the garden (although they will recycle themselves if left in a compost heap), chicken carcasses, and paper (as long as its not wrapping paper cause thats not really paper).
I do try and recycle, to do my bit for the sake for humanity, but there is always a lot more in my black bin than the green one because most of it they wont recycle.
I wasnt scared by all this though. You see I'm protected, as we all are. There wont be any major events happening (at least not for the next ten years so they said today because the Earth is cooling slightly) because I pay my road tax. I pay the congestion charge when I go to London. I pay for energy saving lightbulbs and I pay a fiver for a gallon of fuel. If I continue to pay this I'm safe they tell me. You can drive any car you want, regardless of the engine size and pollution it emits, as long as you pay the tax on it. They are not telling us to stop driving those cars. Where is the order to take every polluting car off the road? No, thats not necessary because the dollar, pound, euro, yen and franc will really save the world.
Thanks for listening.