Re: to buy or not to buy , that is the question...
the selespeed is something that could fail but to be honest anything could fail, i never had any issues with my 2001 sele and that had 76k on the clock when i sold it. the sele is a love/hate thing so make sure its what you want before buying.
the biggest thing to make sure is that the cambelt has been changed, alfa changed the interval from 72k to 36k so if it hasnt been done its 20k over due. these DO SNAP and when that happens your looking at upwards of £1500 to rebuild the engine.
other thing to watch for is suspension knocks or squeaks, this is typical of the front suspension arms failing. your looking a few hundred quid a side when these go.
finally, for god sake make sure the oil level is at max. if its low walk away, an alfa that has been ran low is a disaster waiting to happen, they need their oil!!!
as for general reliability, i dont think that it would be any worse than any other car of 8 year old with 60k+, just keep it well maintained, do the cambelt at every 36k and keep the oil at max and should be fine.
welcome to the club too and good luck with your searching.