The left and middle RED relays are the 2 most important ones in thast box so those need to be working 100% otherwise you will have problems. The relay and fuse functionality along with their locations in that box are described in the following post...
http://forum.alfa145.com/index.php?s...ost&p=11346 1
The spades do come out of the holder with some persuasion. A very small screwdriver (i.e. watchmakers screwdriver) usually comes in handy to help prise them out of the plastic captive housing.
The rough running could still be down to the dodgy wiring in that box so I would get that sorted 100% first.
When you say the engine is getting hot quickly I'm not sure what you mean. The TS engine does come up to temperature quite quickly and it should remain at a fairly constant 90 degrees on the dashboard temperature gauge regardless of whether the car is stationary or moving in traffic.